When I moved from Singapore to Mexico City, I was wildly unexcited.
First, I want to acknowledge the privilege inherent in that statement. Having the opportunity to move countries, to choose a new place to live, and to pursue a different career path is something not everyone has access to. At the same time, even within that privilege, the emotional experience of transition can still be complex and heavy.
I had finally decided to make the jump from international educator to opening my own private practice, supporting international students in a new way through mental health counseling.
This decision was rooted in two long-standing dreams. I wanted to become a full-time counselor, and I had always dreamed of living in Mexico while learning Spanish. It was entirely my choice to make this move, which almost made it harder to understand why it felt so heavy. Despite how aligned it all felt, the uncertainty surrounding it, leaving behind a steady income, stability, friendships, and a familiar career, created such intense anxiety that I could barely function, let alone feel excited.
For months, people would say, “How exciting!”
And for months, I would respond, “Honestly, I’m not excited.”
I knew they meant well, but internally, I felt irritated.
I understand the energy it takes to move abroad, to build a new life, make new friends, and navigate a different culture and language. Having made several international moves now, I know life abroad can be incredible, and I also know intimately the realities and complexities that come with it.
I saw this pattern often in my students and clients, many of whom were moving every few years. Adults would constantly tell them how exciting it was to move somewhere new, but we often failed to make space for the complexity of emotions that come with these transitions.
Because yes, moving can be exciting.
But it can also be scary, uncertain, lonely, and deeply sad, especially when it means leaving behind people who matter.
I think it is incredibly important to hold space for the full range of emotions that come with change, and to be more thoughtful with our words when someone shares they are moving to a new city or country.
As this school year comes to an end and many students and staff prepare to head off to new places, it is worth remembering that everyone is experiencing a wide range of emotions. Not everyone feels excited, and that is okay.
Instead of rushing to positivity, we can offer something more meaningful. We can offer space.
Space for students, and anyone navigating transition, to honestly share how they are feeling without needing to filter or reshape it into something more acceptable.
And for those who may be finding this season especially heavy, you do not have to navigate it alone. Having a space to process the uncertainty, grief, and complexity of change can make all the difference.
📩 Reach out today to connect with Kelly kellytituscounseling.com
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